My beloved spoke and said to me,
“Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.”
The LORD continues to stir up passion for the Word and how important it is to be plugged in. Amongst this, the last few days I have found myself in getting caught up in the idea of doing just to do and “check off”, rather than to enjoy and receive the things the Lord has for me. I was so inspired to spend more time in the Word after Bible study a few nights ago. I’m working on the latter half of the old testament right now. I have lots of time to spare the next week and a half, as the students and most staff are down in Queenstown, so I thought, “Tomorrow I’m going to read through the whole book of Isaiah.”
A dear friend returned to base and after being apart for a year we had so much catching up to do that the day disappeared on us.
Today I was determined, so after leading base intercession I set my alarm so that I could read uninterrupted in awhile. Then I noticed the bathroom was a bit grubby, and the floor, and the laundry needing to be done, and well before I knew it I had lost an hour. I was torn, wanting to make the girls apartment tidy and welcoming for a new staff I was to pick up later, and wanting to spend time with the Lord.
Tucked away in the prayer room for 30 minutes before heading to the airport, the Lord spoke gently too me, as I read in “just get through” mode, frustrated that I kept getting sidetracked, but kept halting as I find the Bible so interesting – I am one of those people that likes to fully unravel a chapter before I keep going. I hesitated before scribbling a thought in the margin, thinking that at this rate I would never get through the Bible.
5 chapters in, I felt to pause. I set down my Bible, turned on some worship music, and quieted myself. “Are you reading just for the sake of saying you read it, or are you reading to receive all that I have for you in this? Are you reading to try and earn my approval?” I felt God challenge.
And so I put my head back, let my eyes close and rested in knowing that God loves me in full, and that He delights in spending time with me, whether I read 1 verse or an entire book of the Bible in that time.
What an unfathomable God we have, one that, when all hope was lost, pulled out the big guns and redeemed us. One that loves us in spite of our shortcomings, whose eyes are constantly fixed on us. One that delights not only in doing things with us but first and foremost simply being with us.
It is crazy to me, that God is still unraveling His Father heart for me. I think God laughs when we think we are near fully understanding something because He sees we are just scratching the surface.