This week, on top of the 65 people I already cook for here, an influx of staff and students have joined us for 2 weeks of debrief after wrapping up their outreaches. The last few days I have been overseeing the cooking for 125 people and also making copious amounts of extravagant cake for a few birthdays this week. Whilst I have had 2 amazing assistants at my side all week, it is still a challenge. The weather has been hot the last few days, so by dinner last night I found myself pretty tired, hot and sweaty, which does not fill me with joy (surprising I know). The day before I had agreed to lead worship this night, and it’s just one of those weeks where I do not have alot of extra of myself to give – no frills this week.
And so, I haphazardly scraped together a few songs in a small window of time, showed up, and opened my hands. “Here I am God. I don’t have much to give right now, but take these “pennies” and use them as you will. I’m so so tired, but you are so so good and so so worthy.”
Don’t you just love how God meets us where we’re at? As I was being blasted by heat from the ovens finishing up dinner, I was thinking “All I want to do is sleep or jump on Netflix, what a terrible idea to agree to lead worship.”
But the thing is, moments when I don’t feel very worshipful, is when I know that it would be so so beneficial to do it anyway.
And so, God showed up, stuff went down, and it was epic. “Don’t you just love worship?” I was asking my friend who led with me. “Worship fixes everything.”
For the last month and a half, I have regularly been getting up and working out at 7 am, but this morning, with a week and a half of cooking for 125 to go, I was in need of a break, I skipped my workout, planning on sleeping in. I’ve gotten so accustomed to waking up early that I woke up early anyway, so I leisurely got ready, curled up with a bowl of rice krispies (a thing I rarely eat that brings back sweet childlike memories) and watched a favourite show on Netflix. It was awesome, and you know what? I totally felt like God was there in that moment too – I love how he meets us in “spiritual” moments and in the ordinary as well.
I had so much time that I ended up going for a walk as well and was thinking about Psalm 139 which has been on my mind alot this week, specifically this:
If I dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
I’ve been finding this section especially encouraging in the moments that I feel like I’m drowning in the kitchen this week.
And so here I was thinking about why I do what I do and how I do what I do, and how will I possibly make it thru the next week and a half standing, and this phrase came to mind “BECAUSE GOD.”
He is good, worthy, and steadfast amidst it all, and His grace is so sufficient.
(nonetheless, prayers for even more grace are still appreciated.